If you have been struggling with finding who you are, then it's OK. Don't freak out! "You are not alone" - quote Michael Jackson. There are millions of people on the world who feel lost, just like you and me. There are people who, until the end of their life, could not find their personality and understand themselves. It's like Peter Pan trying to catch his evasive shadow. Self-discovery is a seemingly never-ending and challenging journey. However, with a little help from the tool called self-reflection, your self-discovery trip would become much easier.
Let's go back a little bit. Before we go deeper into this tool, please allow me to explain why we need to develop self-awareness. Because if it's not important, why would I ask you to spend a portion of your day to do self-discovery while you could go play video games or have a coffee date? Self-awareness is so important that you would not regret sacrificing a FIFA game or a cup of coffee with your friend? (joke: you know what, actually you could still drink coffee and have your friend there to help you with the process) Put simply, if you are self-aware, then you would be successful and happy. Knowing yourself, you could make wiser decisions that you don't have to think back about or wondering and regret. Knowing yourself, you could develop and utilize your strength while trying to fix and fill in your weaknesses. Employers like people who understand themselves well. A group work would be smoother if everyone knows their strengths and weaknesses, especially the leaders. Self-awareness makes your life so much easier and enjoyable.
The thing you have to be aware of is your personal identity. This term refers to a wide range of things, from your styles - the way you walk, the way you talk, the way you dress, to your actions and characteristics ("Psychology: How to build personal identity", For Dummies). All of the little things in your life help build up your identity.
If you are now ready to save FIFA for another time and go on finding your hidden identity instead, then let me introduce you to a good helpful companion, self-reflection. Self-reflection helps you gain a deep and thorough insights about yourself, both in the past, in the present and in the future. Self-reflection requires you to dig deep down into your soul and mind, before it helps you advance in the self-discovery journey. However, not all types of self-reflection could be useful. A successful self-reflection is a process after which you would feel satisfied that you have learned something about yourself.
There is currently a model of self-reflection that seems to be quite efficient. That is the pyramid of self reflection.
The thing you have to be aware of is your personal identity. This term refers to a wide range of things, from your styles - the way you walk, the way you talk, the way you dress, to your actions and characteristics ("Psychology: How to build personal identity", For Dummies). All of the little things in your life help build up your identity.
If you are now ready to save FIFA for another time and go on finding your hidden identity instead, then let me introduce you to a good helpful companion, self-reflection. Self-reflection helps you gain a deep and thorough insights about yourself, both in the past, in the present and in the future. Self-reflection requires you to dig deep down into your soul and mind, before it helps you advance in the self-discovery journey. However, not all types of self-reflection could be useful. A successful self-reflection is a process after which you would feel satisfied that you have learned something about yourself.
There is currently a model of self-reflection that seems to be quite efficient. That is the pyramid of self reflection.
(Diagram based on "Scaling the pyramid of self-reflection: a model and an assignment for the preparation of inclusive leaders" by Angela Webster-Smith)
In the original paper where this model appears, the author suggests that people could go from either top to bottom or bottom to top. In my opinion, since the bottom, the base, is the large, composed picture, we should go from the top to the bottom, taking small steps along the way to successfully build up the whole scene.
For each step, you have to answer several related questions. However, you are not just getting through the motions. As I mentioned before, you have to dig deeply, think carefully and answer truthfully.
Without further delay, let's get started with the questions.
1. Character
The first step we need to tackle is character. Ask yourself:
- What adjectives would you use to describe yourself? Why
- What adjectives would your friends and family use to describe you? Why?
After answering the above two questions, pick a few adjectives that you feel are best supported with evident as well as best at depicting you.
2. Habits
Let's move on to the term "habits".
- What do you often do in your free time?
Now think carefully about each activities you list and answer the following questions:
- Why do you do those activities?
- What do they say about you?
Have some good deep thought and answers? Take your time, and when you finish, move to the next question.
3. Actions:
You certainly have taken many actions in your life to respond to certain situations or maybe to ignite something. They often say "Action speaks louder than words", which means actions could make a big revelation about yourself. Consider these:
- What would you do in certain situations, especially urgent or critical ones? Why? What could they possibly say about you?
Now if you feel like actions could not possibly show anything, then please take a look at the research The American Voter, a study that used the reason behind voting behaviors of voters to classify them (Edwards, Wattenberg and Lineberry, 204-205).
4. Words
Actions may speak more than words, but no one could deny that words certainly could reveal a portion of a person. Your speaking style or writing style as well as word choice and tone could tell people who you are. Some people even have a distinct voice that separate them from other writers. After all, both writing and speaking are medium of expression. Therefore, ask yourself:
- How would you characterize your writing/ speaking style? (Sarcastic, light-hearted, sweet, etc.)
5. Attitude
Needless to say, your attitude is influenced greatly by your characteristics and identity. Therefore, examining your attitude would greatly shows your personality. The best question would be:
- What is your attitude toward life? Certain situations? (difficult at school or at work, stress, success, etc.)
6.Emotion
Both emotions and the way you express emotion are shaped by your personality. By looking at these things, you could figure out a part of your identity. When you look back or face certain situations, regardless of what kind of situations they are, try to wonder:
- How do you feel? Why are you feeling this way?
Once you have answered those questions, you may have a light bulb above your head, indicating you have discovered something new about yourself.
7. Thought
Thoughts, like emotions, are highly important in self-discovery. Thoughts would mainly be shaped by characteristics, and is a considerably accurate indicator of personal traits. Thus, it would be beneficial to consider several different situations and think:
- What did/do you think at that moment? Why so?
Take a step further and ask yourself:
- What do your thoughts possibly reflect about you?
8. Heart
Last but not least is our big, warm base - the Heart. All the steps we have tackled so far are under a huge influence from the heart. They are all puzzle pieces that you need to put together to create the heart. Now that you have the necessary pieces, look at these questions:
- What do you believe in?
Your beliefs would often be an ideal that closely related to all your previous findings at previous questions. The answer would be the perfect picture in which all other pieces are put together perfectly and smoothly.
If you have been able to answer all of them and discover many things about yourself, especially your complicated heart, then you have come far in this journey and you have a relatively strong understanding of yourself. For those of you who have not been able to do so, do not freak out. This is not an one-time-only test. Self-reflection is a process you need to do regularly, because as time changes, your condition, situations and experience also varies, leading to some of your original personalities as well as part of your identity alter. Hence, it is recommended that every single one of you, including people who were successful at the test today, should have a frequent meeting with yourself. Remember, the more self-aware you are, the stronger, happier and more successful you would be. Don't delay the process, start now.
References:
Cash, Adam. "Psychology: How to Build Your Personal Identity." For Dummies. Dummies.biz, n.d. Web. 14 Nov. 2014.
Edwards, George C., Martin P. Wattenberg, and Robert L. Lineberry. "Public Opinion." Government in America: People, Politics, and Policy. New York: Longman, 2009. 204-05. Print.
Webster-Smith, Angela. "Scaling the Pyramid of Self Reflection: A Model and an Assignment for the Preparation of Inclusive Leaders." International Journal of Educational Leadership Preparation 6.1 (2011): n. pag. ERIC. Web. 15 Nov. 2014.
